NPP Night at Premier Poker Lounge Nov. 13th @ 7pm – Update

Here is the list of players IN for Friday night PPL $30 tourney!

Boother36
Derf-63
Faldo
K9isadog
Matchy
Mistermusic5
T3chlady
Theedouble*d
ThePunk75
Tomservo2
UMichpoker
Wingsfancurt

The invitation is still open everyone! Comment here or email Faldo to RSVP. Looking forward to seeing everyone.

Click on the Premier Poker Lounge link on the right side of the blog for directions.

Faldo will be there at 5:30 in the Grille 23 Restaurant for some pizza and an adult beverage prior to the tournament.

Look for the line of star-struck women clamoring for Faldo’s autograph – or look for the “NPP at PokerStars” hat.

The Top Ten Events in Poker History

Here are Faldo’s top ten. You can find the list that gave me the idea for this post at the 2p2 forum or The Poker Grind website. But here is my list and order:

10. The book “Super System” by Doyle Brunson
After winning the WSOP back to back in 1976/1977, Doyle grabbed some of the greatest poker minds in history and co-authored a book with them. Each was an expert at a particular game of poker, and they put their expertise down on paper. Doyle says to this day, it cost him millions of dollars more at the poker table, then he ever made with the book! The book originally sold for the outlandish price of $100, and is still worth every penny.

9. Western Movies
Unless your father played poker, as a boy you probably first saw poker being played by your cowboy heroes and the western villains of the day. Western saloon scenes nearly always contained a poker game. I think without the movie reminders of the ‘Gambling, Action, Bluffing, Power and, excuse me ladies - Man’s Game’ poker really is, the game might have went the way of Pinochle.

8. The life and times of Benny Binion
Benny founded the World Series of Poker and catered to the wants and needs of all the big time poker players. He was single-handedly responsible from pulling poker from the back rooms of pool halls and bars, and into the main floor of a casino.

7. William E. Baxter Jr. vs IRS/USA
Anyone who fights the government intruding on citizen’s lives, I just got to thank! Legendary sports bettor and poker player Billy Baxter single handedly took on the United States government over the way gambling income was taxed. After years of court battles, he won the case, and saved gamblers untold millions of dollars. You da man, Billy!

6. Televising of the World Series of Poker
CBS started televising it in 1973 and ESPN picked it up in 1988. As television does, it brings something right into people’s living room – safely. Many Bridge, Canasta, Euchre and Pinochle players took up poker, simply because it looked like fun – and there were no televised events of their current card game. Now that the game is on the boob tube, people could now have poker celebrities to watch, styles and looks to copy, and of course dream of being on TV themselves.

5. “Rounders”
I remember seeing this movie the first time and thinking “Cha-ching! This should get some new blood to the tables – both at home games and at the casinos.” By far, it was the most realistic movie of all time about poker, poker players and what they live thru. Yes, even what the golf pros, the frat boys and the Greek restaurant owners go thru. The movie is over a decade old and quotes from the movie are still remembered and said at poker tables daily. I know this movie sent millions of people back to the green felt and shuffling chips.

4. Invention of the Hole Card Camera
If televising poker gave it a much needed kick start, being able to see the hole cards while watching poker – kicked it thru the goal posts 70 yards away. Now, you could see what the players were betting and whether or not they were bluffing. You could root for ‘your favorite player’ to make the right decisions. It made it a spectator sport closer to a regular spectator sport, as now the viewer could see everything. Again, more viewers equals more new players.

3. Online Poker
Now that you have an influx of people wanting to learn the game, where do you go to learn? I think we all remember the first time we sat down at a private poker game and the first time we sat down at a casino poker game. You might get a little encouragement from your buddies at the ‘kitchen table’, but walking into a casino to play poker for the first time, makes you feel like a Hooter’s waitress in uniform standing in the lunch line at Jackson Prison. You know all eyes are on you. But now a newbie can sit down in the comfort, safety and anonymity of their own home and learn without the embarrassment, ridicule or scorn from other players. What was first seen as competition to casino poker, became their breeding ground for new customers!

2. Chris Moneymaker Winning the 2003 WSOP Main Event
I don’t think this needs much detail to explain. This single event - coupled with event numbers 6 thru 3 - became poker’s Perfect Storm. Online poker brought the player to the WSOP, the televised event with hole card cameras captured how a Rounder’s dreamer could win the top prize in poker and become rich and famous. Let the search for home poker chips, tables and cards begin! Along with nearly every casino opening poker rooms.

1. Dave the Dog and Faldo Starting Niks Poker Palace
You are here reading, so what would you expect the #1 event in poker to be? Duh?
Dave said one day after golf, while eating chicken wings at Hooters, and after many many beers and cigars, “You seem to know a lot about poker, and you can write a little. Why don’t we start a poker blog? I will set it up and be the webmaster, and you can be the writer.” I was drunk enough to say yes. Dave also came up with the idea for the NPP tournament on PokerStars, since he was just starting to suffer a 'kitchen pass' shortage from his wife-warden, and the NPP home games were no longer in his future.

As it has turned out golf and Hooters were no longer in 4Putt's future either. But I digress.

The rest as they say - is poker history.

If You Need a Poker Reload – Do it NOW!

[Update on NPP night at PPL on Friday, Nov. 13 at 7pm: Faldo, Boother36, Derf-63, K9isadog, T3chlady, ThePunk75, Theedouble*d, Tigercub8189, Tomservo2, UMichpoker, Wingsfancurt are IN!]

Our ever growing and intrusive government is getting ready with Round 2 of putting the kibosh on internet poker.

The UIGEA legislation passed by a slight majority Republican Congress back when Bush was in the White House goes into effect December 1, 2009. Many of us have received notices from banks telling us e-checks will no longer be available for use to ‘gambling sites.’

Well, Republicans (chasing the votes they lost when they did this when they were in power) Sen. Kyl and Rep. Bachus are trying to get the SUPER majority Democrat Congress to over-turn that bill. For those of you who don’t follow politics that closely, the Democrats alone have the votes in Congress to pass anything they want. Notice if you will the takeover of entire industries – in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!!!

Home male prostitute ring manager Rep. Barney Frank D-Taxachusetts, is in favor of swallowing and packing the UIGEA bill too (reference intended).

But, in order for the Republicans to get what they want, they will have to vote for the Socialist/Communist takeover of healthcare, complete with Medicare cuts, Death Panels, forced compliance, taxes/fines and completing the bankruptcy and changing this nation forever.

Barney Frank, who is almost single-handedly responsible for the mortgage and bank industry meltdown, now wants to run your healthcare and manage your doctors.

As it looks right now –
Former citizens - now the serfs of this nation- may be able to fund and cash from poker sites, but will die sooner (with pain pills if you voted Democrat and without pain pills if you vote anything else);
Option B: You will not be able to fund poker sites, and may still be forced into just another socialist cesspool nation.

Anyway, load up your favorite poker sites now while you still have the chance.

You better do a lot of things while you still have the freedom to do them. – Faldo

Faldo’s Advice Column for Women – part II

I get letters all the time asking for the time tested and true advice that can only be given by Faldo. Here is a sample of some of the letters I answer daily:

Dear Faldo,
I recently found poems and love letters indicating my husband of 23 years has been having sex with my best friend in our bedroom, if you can believe that!

Since I've found this out, I can't sleep, I have no appetite, and I'm so angry with both of them I don't know what to do. I hate to even confess this crossed my mind, but last Saturday I took his .22 revolver off the night stand and contemplated using it on both of them if I caught them that evening.

Thank God I did not, but I'm so overwrought I don't know what to do. What do you suggest?
Signed,
Overwrought In Ann Arbor

Dear OIAA,

Violence is never the answer. Talk to husband about your best friend and offer to join in as their love slave. If he turns you down, beg her to let you. I’m sure one of them will oblige you into this win-win situation.

Hope this helps,
Faldo


Dear Faldo,

I have a real dilemma on my hands. My husband, Phil, can't take his eyes off the neighbor girls. One is an 18-year-old buxom blonde and the other is a beautiful 25 year-old red head who just graduated from Princeton. Faldo, it's downright embarrassing to see this man oogling women half his age right in front of me! I've tried insulting him in front of company, making jokes about his behavior, punishing him in the bedroom, but nothing works.

What would you do if you were in this situation?

Signed,
Distraught n Hudson, MI

Dear DIH,

That is why women come to Faldo for advice. Logic escapes them.

Not having sex with your husband will make him 'check out the menu' even harder! Duh!!!

But you do present a dilemma.

My head tells me go with the red head, since she's older, more mature, and has a marketable degree. On the other hand, the busty blonde would be trainable.

Actually, you might as well approach both of them about a threesome. If the first one says yes, it is bonus time asking the other one! You might get a foursome out of the deal and your husband’s undying gratitude. Good luck.

Faldo

Bonus advice Ladies: If you are worrying about competing against other furnaces, then become the fuel!

NPP Night at Premier Poker Lounge Nov. 13th @ 7pm

Mark it on your calendar folks! Make plans. Clear your schedule, if at all possible. Davethedog, start begging now for a kitchen pass.

Let’s all try and meet and put faces to those PokerStars handles. What could be a better night to see Faldo’s scary face than on Friday the 13th?

I think we can get players from NPP – Tuesday, MI Poker News, MI Poker Forum, Boother36’s game and the Matchy-Beerhog-Faldo home game too!

Faldo will send out some emails to players, as well as contacting MI Poker, Forum and of course PPL, to let them know they could be invaded.

I would like to get RSVP’s posted here on the blog or returned to me in emails. I will try to have some blank NPP badges available so we can put our PS handle on our shirts.

I think it will be a fun evening. The Grille 23 Restaurant will be open for a pre-game meal and/or drinks. Maybe an NPP dinner prior to the scheduled 7pm PPL tourney ($30 entry – 7000 chips). A cash game will be available also.

Let me know who is planning to attend. – Faldo

LittleRedElf Wins His 7th NPP Tourney of 2009!

LittleRedElf (LRE) survived a roller-coaster ride that most of the final table players were on also. What a great night of poker action, and if you missed it – it is a shame!

LRE bested twenty others for his 8th career NPP win. He continues to inch up the Walk of Fame!

Tonight’s action almost took a full three hours to complete! Not a record, but close (177 minutes is the record). It is a testament to the talent in this league. Pure and simple.

We welcome a new player to NPP tonight - Jenski6. From the looks of it, our stable improved yet again! Welcome to NPP Jennifer.

On to the action:

22 min: See? Over twenty minutes until the first victim! ThePunk75 (21st) raises and is called by Derf-63 and Midway2933. The flop is [46K]. The Punk pushes with (A7), hoping to take it down, but Midway calls with (A6) and it holds up.

37 min: Duder1123 (20th) sees his pair of Cowboys lose to Tomservo2’s American Airlines.

39 min: Kensik (19th) is knocked out, but the table closed before I could see it.
40 min: Tigercub8189 (18th) sees a flop with three others. He moves all in with (QJ) and a flop of [4JA], but is called by K9isadog with (A8).

45 min: Akensi (17th) repeats the process and sees a flop with (As Js). The flop is [3A5]. T3chlady bets four BB’s with (33) and only Akensi calls. The river card of a [J] traps Amy for all her chips.

49 min: Budda627 (16th) with (Ah Jh) can’t catch LRE’s (77).
51 min: Wingsfancurt (15th) sees a four-way flop with (KK) after min-raising. The flop is [737] and I smell trouble. Another min bet by Curt, a min-raise by Midway2933 and another call by Curt on the turn with the all-in loss on the river to Midway’s (74). Sevens crushing people!

Now the PokerStars Break Monster runs wild!
56 min: Theedouble*d (14th) bets his (QQ), only to run into LRE’s (KK)!
59 min: K9isadog (13th) sees his (JJ) run into T3chlady’s (QQ).
60 min: Midway2933 (12th) sees a flop of [T3Q] and moves in with (33), only to find LRE holding (QQ)!

A busy, busy break monster!
1st Break:

LRE 8295
T3chlady 4876
Tomservo2 4585 (same position as last week!)
Derf-63 3450
Jenski6 2666 (New player makes the break? Nice!)
Douge2 2028
Meatsword 1835
Rennzzo 1225
Absea98 1130
Funtoon 1115
Biglou93 295

Break Monster not done as right out of the chute:

61 min: A short-stacked (SS) Absea98 (11th) is all-in after a flop [Q5J] in it with (KJ), but Jenski6 calls with (Q5) and hits a full house on the river.

62 min: A SS Biglou93(10th) is out next, but I am watching the next hand and miss it as his former table closes down.

63 min: Rennzzo (9th) moves in with (QJ) but Jenski6 is holding (A6).
65 min: Meatsword (8th) goes with (Kd Kc) and a flop of [9c Ac Qc] and runs into LittleRedElf holding (As Qh), and Meat never catches up.

70 min: A SS Douge2 (7th) is AIPF with (99) (82%) and is called by Derf-63 with (65) (18%), but the flop is [534]. Reduced now to a coin flip situation, Derf hits his straight on the turn!

A long battle ensues for 35 minutes! With exactly the same number of players left when the long battle began last week. The six remaining players - during that 35 minutes - all took turns as both chip leader and short stack! Crazy fun to watch.

105 min: Four player pots were death tonight for someone. Derf-63 (6th) calls with three others. The flop of [64K] gets bets from Tomservo2 with (K7) and a call from Derf with (A4). With no improvement, Derf tries to push Tom off his hand, but it doesn’t work.

2nd break:
Jenski6 7871
Tomservo2 7610
Funtoon 7435
T3chlady 6116
LRE 2468 (Down, but not out!)

Even Faldo knows that LRE has exactly 2469 too many chips, in order for the other players to be safe!

126 min: Funtoon (5th) sees his (AJ) loses to Jenski6’s (TT).
140 min: T3chlady (4th) calls all-in with (22), but LRE has (TT).

144 min: Jenski6 (3rd) does the standard 3x BB raise and gets called by LRE. The flop of [Ad 6c Ah] gets two checks. The river [9c] gets all the money in! Jen’s (AK) comes up short to LRE’s (66).

Heads up: LRE 21500 - Tomservo2 10000
150 min: LRE 21500 - Tomservo2 10000
155 min: LRE 19000 - Tomservo2 12500
160 min: LRE 20800 - Tomservo2 10700
165 min: LRE 25000 - Tomservo2 6500
170 min: LRE 19800 - Tomservo2 11700 (and Tom had the lead some too!)

171 min: LRE min raises and is called by Tomservo2 (2nd). The flop is [Jh 7s 8c] and another min bet is called. The turn is [7h] and Tom moves it all in with (86). But LRE is holding (K7).

Congratulations to LRE on another NPP win, and a great battle put on by Tomservo2!

1st – LittleRedElf
2nd – Tomservo2
3rd – Jenski6 (a nice finish for a 1st time player!)
4th – T3chlady
5th – Funtoon
6th – Derf-63
7th – Douge2
8th – Meatsword
9th – Rennzzo

Standings are on the right side of the blog.

Faldo Finishes 3rd in Carbon Poker Freeroll Tourney

I got a ton of cards early, dodged a lot of bullets late and managed a final table in a 500 player tourney on Carbon Poker.

My SS all-in with (A5) got called by (87), who hit two eights – one on the flop and one on the turn.

It was my first time back to the site in a long time. I was pounded into powder the last time I was there. But after some poundings on PokerStars, I decided a change of scenery was in order. It worked obviously.

What I like about Carbon Poker is how after everyone is all-in, the winning percentages are shown. I think it is a great feature that should be copied by the BIG boys of the poker internet. It would certainly help your scribe when doing the NPP games.

What I don’t like about it is that you have very little time to make decisions and you cannot see the tournament lobby. At least I didn’t find a way to view the tourney lobby. I could see ‘Info’ and see where I stood and how many were left. But I could not see the payouts – which bugged me.

Maybe if you don’t have ‘running’ tournaments open on your main menu, you can’t find it to click on it. If anyone knows, tell us. Or I will have to just put ‘running’ back on and see if that works.

More NPP poker news and props to hand out: Tigercub8189 has a win and a 3rd in his last two 90 player SNG's he entered! Nice job there Cub.

Hold’em Hand Names

Some of these you know. I know some you don’t

A-A: American Airlines, Eyes of Texas, Pocket Rockets
A-K: Anna Kournikova, Big Slick, Santa Barbara, Walking Back to Houston
A-Q: Little Slick
A-J: Ajax or Foamy Cleanser
A-8: Dead Man’s Hand (Wild Bill Hickock was holding AA88 when killed)
A-3: Baskin-Robins (31 flavors)
A-2: Acey-deucey
K-K: Cowboys, King Kong
K-Q: Marriage, Newlyweds
K-9: Canine
K-3: King crab
Q-Q: Ladies, Siegfried and Roy
Q-J: Pinochle
Q-9: Quinine
Q-7: Computer hand
Q-3: The Gay Waiter
J-J: Hooks
J-6: Railroad Hand (sounds like a steam engine)
J-5: Jackson Five
T-T: Totem Poles, Tent Stakes
T-8: 4Putt (108, Dave's average score for 18 holes)
T-5: Barbara Hutton (dime store heiress), Dime Store, Woolworth
T-4: Broderick Crawford (A Highway Patrol radio call)
T-2: Doyle Brunson
9-9: Wayne Gretzky
9-8: Oldsmobile
9-5: Dolly Parton (who played in the movie ‘9 to 5’), Office Hours
9-2: Montana banana (because bananas will grow in Montana before this hand wins)
8-8: Infinity, Mighty Wurlitzer (number of keys on the piano),
8-6: Eubie (from the expression ‘you play those, u be broke’)
7-7: Hockey sticks, Walking sticks
7-6: Trombones (from the song ’76 trombones’), Union Oil
7-2: Beer hand
6-6: Route 66
5-7: Heinz (the steak sauce)
5-5: Presto, Speed Limit
4-5: Colt 45, Jesse James (the gun he was killed by)
4-4: Darth Vader (both black fours), Jane Manfield
3-9: Jack Benny (the age he always claimed to be)
3-8: Raquel Welch
3-3: Crabs
2-9: Twiggy (the model’s boob or hip size)
2-4: Lumberman’s Hand
2-2: Ducks

Hat tip to Card Player Magazine and Michael Wiesenberg for most of these.
Did we miss any?

Faldo’s Advice Column to Women

I get letters all the time asking for the time tested and true advice that can only be given by Faldo. Here is a sample of some of the letters I answer daily:

Dear Faldo,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter. I'm 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I'd leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Sheila

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

And of course he shut down, Sheila. With him out of work, you know how important it is that you get to work on time. You have to take better care of that car!

Get regular inspections of the car after work so this doesn't happen again. Make some great dinners for him after work for a couple weeks and he will be willing to accept your apology eventually.

Once you take all of these steps, and of course retract that silly ultimatum, I’m sure his attitude will improve.

Sincerely,
Faldo

Faldo Finishes 7th in WPE Tourney

It was filled with 106 other players and Faldo managed to make a final table at the World Poker Exchange site. I won a bunch of coin flip hands to get there.

Then, when I had the advantage at the final table,(As Js) (69%) versus (Ah 4c), a [4] on the flop and a [4] on the turn – did me in.

In the next two tourneys I entered (on Cake Poker), I chased when I should not have – once drawing nearly dead. It was a turbo tourney and that did influence my decision. It never used to, but I am tired of minimum cashing and bubbling.

Here is the second one, in a normal tourney:

I had (Jc Tc) on the button and had called a min raise by the UTG and two calls by middle players.

The flop came down [Qc Ts 9c]. The UTG bet one-third of the pot and the other two players folded. Decision time as a call then fold on the turn would leave me with only 10 BB’s. It’s not death, but it is not good either. The Villain had me covered easily also.

Even if the Villain held (KJ) (56%) or trips, (54%) I had outs making it close to a coin flip. If I was going to call here, the correct move was to move all in – and maybe he folds.

I called (I think you spell ‘donkey’ – F-A-L-D-O).

The turn was the [2s]. And he bets all but a ½ BB of my stack. THAT usually is a tell he wants a call. There is no lock possible yet, so this bet is puzzling. But I have to guess he has something.

Here are the hands I put him on and the new percentages – (KJ) (75%) or trips (68%), so I am a 3 to 1 or 2 to 1 dog now. It is a close decision now due to my short-stack status, but I elected to call all-in and see I am up against even a weaker hand than I thought (QT) (66%),

I missed on the river and was gone, but all the more reason my all-in was needed on the flop. Lesson learned.

PS: If I had moved in on the flop, with the hand I actually was up against – I was a 51% to 47% favorite! So, moving in then was definitely the right play – and my call on the turn was not terrible, was it? Your thoughts people?

Douge2’s Humor Corner – XXVI

Woodpecker Challenge

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'im-peckable' (a term woodpeckers like to use). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'im-peckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country? After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Apparently, you are a much better pecker when you're away from home.


This is a Major Concern

Beer contains female hormones.
Last month, scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain
Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

Wingsfancurt Wins His 1st NPP Tourney!

Maybe Wingsfancurt’s favorite team is off to a slow start, but he got off to a quick start in tonight’s tourney. He then went almost bust, before rallying and besting a field of another eighteen players to win his first NPP event.

We also welcome back WildWoode to the NPP tables tonight.

Your scribe was logged in and then called away to help my in-laws and got back too late to enter. Too late to enter because of Curt’s fast start! twss!

On to the action:

4 min?: Rennzzo (19th) and Theedouble*d (18th) are knocked out by Wingsfancurt in a double kill. I missed it as Faldo was trying to register late and was not allowed to as this must have just happened.

32 min: T3chlady (17th) continues to have no nub on PokerStars on NPP nights as her (QQ) runs into Wingsfancurt’s (KK). I told you he was on fire early!

33 min: Watching and recording the above hand, I failed to see Kensik finish (16th).
34 min: Derf-63 (15th) goes AIPF with (55) and loses to Vanettij’s (JJ).

41 min: Three see a flop of [Td 4d Qd]. Meatsword (14th) bets his (As Js) in a semi-bluff and gets called only by Wingsfancurt with (T7) and middle pair. The turn is a [7] and everyone checks. When another [Q] hits the river, Meatsword moves all-in with another attempt at a semi-bluff, but Curt calls him down – and out!

53 min: A short-stacked (SS) LittleRedElf (13th) sees his (AK) get run down by Budda627’s (Tc 5c) with a [T] on the flop.

57 min: Three see a flop of [5c Js Qc]. Wildwood bets (Ks Qd) and only Vanettij (12th) calls (As 6c). The turn is a [7h] and Vanetti bets and gets called. The river is a [5h] and Vanetti pushes all-in on a bluff and gets called out by the pair of Queens.

1st Break:

Wingsfancurt 7400 (looks like the Big 2 – Little 9)
WildWoode 6614
Tomservo2 2703
ThePunk75 2195
Absea98 2195
K9isadog 1935
Budda627 1555
Douge2 1340
Funtoon 900
Akensi 895
Tigercub8189 768

65 min: A SS Funtoon (11th) is all-in after a flop with an [8] in it with (T8) but WildWoode calls with (Q9) and hits a straight on the river.

72 min: Absea98 (10th) is out next, but I am watching the next hand and miss it as his former table closes down.

73 min: Budda627 (9th) moves in with (KJ) but WildWoode is holding (TT).

91 min: A long time until the next exit when a SS K9isadog (8th) goes with (KQ) and runs into Wingsfancurt’s (A9).

97 min: A SS Akensi (7th) calls a raise with (Ad Th) and moves all in on WildWoode (QQ) on a flop of [52Q]. Ouch!

A long battle ensues for 23 minutes! Great job guys!

2nd break:
WildWoode 13509
ThePunk75 7340
Tomservo2 2512
Douge2 2135
Wingsfancurt 1697 (how the mighty have fallen!)
Tigercub8189 1307

122 min: A SS Tigercub8189 (6th) checks his blind with two players. The flop of [347] gets Wingsfancurt (75) to bet enough to put Tigercub all-in, who calls with (K2).

124 min: A SS Douge2 (5th) loses to Tomservo’s straight.
133 min: A SS Tomservo2 (4th) calls all-in with (77) with a flop with an [A] in it, and WildWoode has (A5).

138 min: Wingsfancurt (K9) calls WildWoode’s (3rd) raise and they see a flop of [9JK]. WildWoode moves all in with (AJ), is called, and cannot catch up.

Heads up: Wingsfancurt 13600 - ThePunk75 14900
140 min: Wingsfancurt 20600 - ThePunk75 7900

The comeback is almost complete!

141 min: ThePunk75 (2nd) raises a pot committed amount and is called.
The flop is [263] and ThePunk moves it all in with (97). But the stop-and-go fails as Wingsfancurt is holding (TT).

Congratulations to Wingsfancurt on his first NPP win! He becomes the 45th tournament winner in NPP history.

1st – Wingsfancurt
2nd – ThePunk75
3rd – WildWoode
4th – Tomservo2
5th – Douge2
6th – Tigercub8189
7th – Akensi
8th – K9isadog
9th – Budda627

Standings are on the right side of the blog.

Sometimes It’s Just Not in the Cards

I won’t go thru my own tale of woe since returning from my get away weekend with nature. I came back ready to start with a clean poker slate and a good attitude. Let me just say that the Dealer of Death was waiting anxiously for my return to the felt. It turned out to be a short visit in “Good Attitude” Village for Faldo.

But in my mail bag I found a hand I will review, instead of boring you with the stories of the TWO three outers that ran me down in consecutive tourneys. Oh wait, sorry, I just did.

Our Hero writes to say that he got crushed unfairly again. But was it that bad? Let’s look:

The blinds are 2500 – 5000, with a 500 ante, so we are late in the tourney and our NPP Hero has gone deep, as most NPP players do – twss.

Peeking to see (Ad Ah) UTG (under the gun, or the seat right in front of the blinds) our Hero bets 10000 of his 42000 stack. He is 2nd at the table in chips and I figure he is trying to coax AIPF (all in pre-flop) action from the smaller stacks.

All fold to the SB (small blind) with a stack of 20000 chips, who calls!?! An all-in or fold seems right here – unless the plan is to move all in after the flop – hit or miss. But already short-stacked and putting half his chips in, it looks like he is hoping for a call from the BB to get some pot odds with (Kh Td).

Everyone’s strategic moves matter not as the big stacked BB Villain (73000) questionably moves all-in with (6d 6h). But the blinds are high and I don’t know where these stacks are in relation to the rest of the field or tournament situation. Maybe the Villain is doing what he has to do to win it all. Maybe squeaking in the money is not on his mind as he loves being a bubble boy or being one of the big stacks.

Well, this action is just what our Hero wanted – yes? Well, for sure yes heads up and I think he has to call here, regardless. Our Hero had to know the SB was calling. But facing even two players, instead of one, (AA) falls in value.

It is a tournament and you have to go for the gusto. Here are the percentages pre-flop:

Hero (AA) – 69%
SB (KT) – 12%
BB Villain (66) – 19%

Our Hero would have been 87% vs SB and 81% vs the BB heads up respectively.

But our hero is just a little better than a 2:1 favorite here. So when the [6] spiked on the flop and turned our Hero from the solid favorite to a 9:1 dog, it was not the worst bad beat the world has ever seen.

Of course it hurt that Hero was deep in the tournament and that the hit was done by the only stack at the table that could not only bust him, but who played aggressive (or stupid) and hit. If it was another SS at the table, it would have been more understandable - and not fatal.

But as Faldo is trying to remind himself – on a daily basis – if you are going to whine about the evil deeds of the dealer of the cards, don’t play. Sometimes, it is just not in the cards for you.

So I will buy another ticket to Good Attitude Village, and I hope our Hero does too.

Faldo Goes to Deer Camp

Sorry for the lack of posting. Faldo went with his son, Bronco76 and Tigercub8189 to my other brother’s hunting cottage, for a little deer hunting. Leaving the oval felt jungle for the Michigan woods for a while.

Yes time to live off the land. Time to get back to survival mode. Time to man up and check your skills against nature. This was wilderness living at its supreme and most intense. After all, no internet and no TV!!!!! Cell phones worked, but I had turned mine off and left it in the car.

Friday was a rainy night. Visiting with the other eight hunters inside the main lodge, it was venison stew, sardines, beef jerky, baked beans, green beans and beer for dinner. Back at my other brother’s (Lion.357) house trailer on 12 acres. The kerosene heater got plenty of fuel added to the air as the night rolled on after that dinner. It was more beer and stories – then lights out.

Lion failed to see anything hunting Saturday morning. Got back to the lodge and checked in. No hits, but a big deer was spotted by several guys, but no shot available with their bows.

Back to our camp, we worked dropping carrots, beets and other bait for the animals and gather/cut/split wood for the Saturday fire. Beer was iced and readied – and sampled.

Evening hunt was also unsuccessful, so we did what all survival men do in that situation. We drove to town to the only bar and had burgers and watched football for a while. That big buck was confirmed being seen by half the hunters in our group, but no one had a shot. Then it was back to camp for the bonfire, beer, cigars and story-telling in the light on and off drizzle.

Sunday was a beautiful morning, and the radio crackled at 9am at our camp. Someone said they shot and hit that big buck! It was time to go tracking. This is what I really call roughing it. I was going to have to hike thru the woods, with only two cups of coffee and one package of instant oatmeal in my stomach. The inhumanity of it all!

The track was the easiest I had ever been on. First off the hunter with the hit said he got the deer near perfect. That coming from some hunters, that could be a story or a mistake, but not with this guy. If he said he got it, he got it. Even though the broad blade arrow had passed right thru, you could tell it was a lung shot. We waited until we all gathered at 10:30am and started out on the blood trail.

What started out as small drops every ten yards for the first 100 yards, turned into big drops every five yards and then pretty much a straight line of blood. Plus, the size of the deer had left a pretty big tunnel thru the underbrush in the woods and rubbed blood on the trees.

Less than 300 yards from the shot, there he was. He was only a 4 point rack, but weighed in at 220 pounds on the scale! As the successful hunter processed his deer, a few celebratory beers were had – with jokes/insults thrown in. That deer will be in the stew next camp.

The hunt was over for the weekend. Back to our camp, we all pulled out our rifles, shotguns and handguns for a little target practice. The big obsolete desktop computer I brought up just for this occasion, held up surprisingly well under the onslaught. The wood targets and water jugs didn’t last as long as that computer did.

That was surprisingly therapeutic to let loose on one of those machines. Anyway, time to clean up, pack up and head back to the unreal world.

Douge2’s Humor Corner – XXV

Mistaken Identity

Sirgash staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, 2 black eyes, and a 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asked him, “What happened to YOU?”

“Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my girl Nixi, at a difficult hole. We both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to Nixi, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’

I don't remember much after that.”


Men’s Sensitivity Test

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking.

B. Screwing

C. Bumping uglies.


2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.

B. Your blood-test results.

C. Five tequila slammers.


3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.

B. You both climax simultaneously.

C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.


4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.

B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.

C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.


5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

A. The best part of the experience.

B. The second best part of the experience.

C. Costs her $100 extra.


6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

A. Of no influence on your affection for her.

B. Not a problem, she can join your gym and do double workouts.

C. A conservative estimate.


7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth.

B. An oxymoron.

C. A moron.


8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. An appetizer is to an entree.

B. Primer is to paint.

C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.


Evaluating Results:

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, you are 4Putt after marriage.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, you are NPP material.

Faldo Updates His Online Poker Room Review

As you know, I am a proud PokerStars Affiliate Member. PokerStars is the leader in the online poker industry. And when all the other big boys like Party Poker and Paradise Poker cut their USA players loose, PokerStars stood firm – for poker AND freedom – and stayed with us.

Therefore, I will always be with PokerStars – until I am bad beat into bankruptcy - but I digress.

That being said, if you want to multi-table tournaments in a window of stake ranges, playing it all on one site limits your options. Because PokerStars is the best and the biggest, I can usually get in two tourneys and sometimes three in my price range at the same time. But sometimes I can’t.

Full Tilt Poker is the 2nd best site I use. I will give you some stats in a minute to prove this out, but it is the next best option – far and away.

That leaves the rest of the pack. I have decided to play at four sites exclusively, and with the first two obviously carved in stone, I have to pick two more. My choices are between:

Bodog Poker
Cake Poker
Carbon Poker – Merge Gaming
Ultimate Bet – Cereus Gaming
Poker4ever – Everleaf Gaming
WorldPokerExchange

In my review of close to three hundred poker sites, I am down to these six choices. Lets look at some data shall we?

Site – Week Average # of Cash Game Players (tourney data not available, darn!)
Bodog – 910
Cake – 1860
Carbon – 425
Ultimate – 2450
Poker4ever – 100
WPE - 50
And for comparison;
PokerStars – 23800
Full Tilt – 12100

For reasons of full disclosure, Bodog Poker is the wildcard. They are a sports book too, and you have to have more action than Bodog to be considered for the 3rd spot. Bodog by default earns spot #4. Sometimes Faldo requires horse, fights and sports odds – for news information only of course - so, ummmm, they are #4 darn it!

The data don’t lie. My choice now is between Cake and Ultimate Bet due to the larger volume of traffic and business. This means less chance of my account disappearing and a greater chance for more 100+ player tourneys that I like to play in.

For reasons I will not get into here, the celebrity pitch-people for both of these sites are – in my opinion – a reason NOT to pick either one of them. But pick one I feel I must.

If any readers want to chime in with opinions about the tourney play on either site, I am all eyes. I will review their tourney blind structures, payout structures and shear number of weekly tourneys in my budget range.

I will also send emails to both sites requesting information on why they should be my #3 site. Stay tuned for the results.

Theedouble*d Wins His 3rd NPP Tourney

He bested a field of another twenty players playing tough poker others to do it.

Faldo didn't play as I was feeling a little under the weather. I can tell I am trying to catch a cold, but I am resting, sleeping and eating well enough (vitamin C and soup) to keep me from getting really bad.

The mood in the tourney tonight was light and friendly in the conversation, but deadly serious on the felt.

On to the action:

25 min: Douge2 (21st) hits a pair of 7’s on the flop and when a possible flush appears on the river, he makes a bluff attempt. But Duder1123 is holding (AA) and not going anywhere.

31 min: Vanettij (20th) sees his (77) run into Akensi’s (AA).
32 min: Midway2933 (19th) is knocked out by Biglou93’s (QQ).

41 min: Meatsword (18th) sees a flop of [A99] while holding (AK), but K9isadog holds – what else? – (K9). Ouch! Rennzzo takes the short-stacked (SS) Meat out two minutes later.

51 min: Quite a hand here. A short-stacked (SS) Wingsfancurt (17th) goes with (AA) and gets – not one, not two, but – five callers! A flop of [2s Jd 9c] gets Tigercub8189 (16th) all-in with (TT) and K9isa dog and Akensi call that. The turn is [Kd] and K9 gets a double kill and wins a big pot with his (QT) straight.

52 min: A SS Duder1123 (15th) goes AIPF with (Kd Td) and loses to ThePunk75’s (QQ).
54 min: Kensik (14th) sees his (88) lose to Tomservo2’s (QJ) with a [Q] on the flop.
56 min: Akensi (13th) goes out against Rennzzo’s (77).

1st Break:

K9isadog 5167
ThePunk75 5030
Theedouble*d 4285
Absea98 3090
T3chlady 2660
Derf-63 2265
Biglou93 1974
Budda627 1794
LittleRedElf 1648
Rennzzo 1367
Tomservo2 1135
Funtoon 1085

62 min: Theedouble*d (7c 6c), Budda627 (Tc 8h) and Rennzzo (8c 3d) split a pot three ways. They all read Faldo’s poker book “7-2 is OK!”

70 min: Biglou93 (12th) sees his (QQ) run into Theedouble*d’s (AK) and an [A] on the river.

72 min: Derf-63 (11th) is AIPF with (Kh Jh) but finds Funtoon with (A9).
74 min: A SS LittleRedElf (10th) has to go with (99), but takes Faldo’s bubble spot as K9isadog has (KQ) and hits a flop of [QQK].

77 min: Budda627 (9th) moves in with (88) but T3chlady is holding (QQ).
90 min: A SS Rennzzo (8th) (K4) gets two callers and K9isadog’s (K9) take it down.
97 min: Absea98 (7th) has his (Ah Kh) (69%) get run down by Theedouble*d’s (Q5) with a [Q] on the turn.

109 min: K9isadog (6th) gets too aggressive (impatient?) with his (QT) on a flop of [KT3] but cannot catch T3chlady’s (KJ).

2nd break:
T3chlady 12761 (can she hang on for her first NPP win?)
Theedouble*d 12234
Tomservo2 3680
ThePunk75 1785 (what is with the T’s?)
Funtoon 1040 (et tu, Toon?)

It goes wild right after the break as the small stacks go for it.

121 min: Funtoon’s (5th) (KJ) loses to Theedouble*d’s (QQ).
122 min: ThePunk75 (4th) is all-in with (K5) but Theedouble*d’s (QJ) hits a [Q] on the turn.

123 min: Tomservo2 (3rd) runs into T3chlady’s (AA). Nuff said.

That was fast!

Heads up: Theedouble*d 16500 - T3chalady 15000
125 min: Theedouble*d 22500 - T3chalady 9000
130 min: Theedouble*d 20000 - T3chalady 11500
135 min: Theedouble*d 22700 - T3chalady 8800

137 min: T3chlady (2nd) is AIPF with (33) and Theedouble*d calls with (AT). The Lady’s pair get counterfeited as two pair hit the board and DD’s ace plays.

Congratulations to Theedouble*d on another NPP win.

1st – Theedouble*d
2nd – T3chlady
3rd – Tomservo2
4th – ThePunk75
5th – Funtoon
6th – K9isadog
7th – Absea98
8th – Rennzzo
9th – Budda627

Standings are on the right side of the blog.

A Little Poker Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing

Here is some limit poker advice, but remember this stuff is not carved in stone. The type of opponents, the trend of the game and your table image are factors no one can predict when shelling out practical poker advice. But this stuff is usually correct. Just, not always – and that is the beauty of poker:

Position is most important with three or four players in the hand. Having position is still an advantage heads up or in a multi-way pot, but it is close to critical with three or four players competing for a pot.

The boundary line between having a large number of opponents in a hand and a small number of opponents is – three.

Do not overlook the chance that you will hit your ‘dream hand’ and still lose. For instance, drawing for an over card with lets say (AT). You could hit your [A] and still lose to (AQ) or (A-rag) that hit two pair.

If you would not call a raise from the button with the hand you are holding in the small blind – fold.

An unpaired hand will make a pair, straight draw or flush draw only 1/3 of the time.

The turn card is where money is made. A bet here can chase out add to your profit two ways – taking a pot down without a showdown and getting extra $ from inferior hands.

However, when facing a raise of a bet on the turn, the bettor usually can beat top pair.

Beware of ‘tainted’ cards that improve your hand, but could have strengthened your opponent’s hand even more.

Chances of flopping a flush is just .8 %. But if you had let’s say (Qd Jd) and the flop is [8d 6d 4d], slow-playing is inviting the (Kd) or (Ad) to snap you off.

The chance of flopping a straight with two connected cards is not much better at 1.3%.

Bigbrimar Finishes 3rd in PokerStars Tourney

NPP players continue to cash …and it is not surprising. Not with the talent filled group you have to cut your teeth against every week in the league.

Bigbrimar landed just two from the top spot out of 360 players and raked in 40 times his entry for his final table appearance.

Nice job Bigbri! (ah…twss)

Faldo Says “Yay” or “Nay” to Common Dealer’s Choice Games – Part X

There are other poker games besides what is dealt in casinos and tournaments. The casino games are there because of their speed and simplicity in dealing. More hands equal more rake for the house.

But there are some fun, entertaining and challenging poker games you can deal in a home game, which make you have to think outside “the flop” sometimes.

The description of the following games in this series is Faldo’s opinion only. Other may like my take on a game and some will not. That’s fine. It’s all good. Here we go:

Proctor and Gamble

Each player receives four down cards. Betting round. Then three window cards are placed on the board, and turned over one at a time with a betting round in between each flip of a card. The last card flopped and all like it are wild.

It is a pure gambling game as you won’t know how many wild cards you will have in your hand until the end, but you do know you will have one.

Faldo says ‘Nay’. Exciting game but too much gamble for Faldo.

Push

This is a high-low game. Every player receives a down card. Then the player on the dealer’s left gets an up card. If he wants it, he keeps it. If not, he can push it to his left and gets the next card. Obviously it would probably help you if the person on your right was going in the opposite hand direction of you. Only the up cards can be pushed.

If the dealer pushes a card, it goes in the muck. Betting starts after everyone has their first up card. This continues until everyone has four up cards. Then, there is one ‘buy round’ or exchange option, where every player can throw away a card and ‘buy’ a replacement. Ah yes, a chance to get rid of the down card! Although you can replace an up card if you decide that is what you want to do.

Then a final betting round and a then a showdown or a ‘declare hi or low’ – dealer’s choice.

Faldo says ‘Yay’ to this one. Sounds like fun for a group of semi-drunk friends to rip on each other for cards passed or kept.

Round the World

Same game as Omaha Hi-Lo except there is only a four-card window and the cards are turned over one at a time, with a betting round after each one. This might be a game of choice should your table swell to nine players or more and you don’t wish to break up the table. The number of cards dealt to each player could be reduced also – from four to three.

Faldo says ‘Yay’, but standard Omaha Hi-Lo is just as good a game. But this game will make you learn to appreciate ‘the flop’.

Douge2’s Humor Corner – XXIV

Keeping With Tradition

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. " Guido, I wanna you lissina me. I wanna you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy.. Somma day you gonna be runna DA business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to the watch and say, “Time's Up”?


Actual Headlines Found in Newspapers!

“Coed Excited Dad Got Head Job”

“Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls, Nike Says”

“Stats Show Teen Pregnancy Drops After Age 25”

“What Constitutes a Millionaire?”

“One-Armed Man Applauds Kindness of Strangers”

“Camouflage Army Vehicle Disappears”

“Fish Needs Water Feds Say”

“County to Spend $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds”

“Caskets Found as Workers Demolish Mausoleum”

“Poison Control Center Reminds Everyone Not to Take Poison”

“Crack Found in Man’s Buttocks"

"Obama Watches College Football Game - Wins Heisman Trophy"

Ok, the last one is not a real headline.